Darlings, run along now and disinfect your mitts with a bar of that carbolic fragranced Lifebuoy soap – much obliged!

Ok, now you’re nice and clean, you can cook your own beetroot which won’t take too long. Or, if time is the essence, then please do succumb to the modern-day convenience of vacuum-packed cooked beetroot! Either way, please grate with a cheese grater and set to one side.

In a mixing bowl sieve together, the baking powder and flour. Add the salt and pepper and give it a good ol’ stir. Then with a wooden spoon mix to a stiff batter with milk and beat well.

Roughly chop the green beans, then steam for a minute or so in your rather ghastly microwave and add to the grated beetroot.

Finely chop the spring onion and combine with the beetroot / green bean mixture. Transfer to the batter and add the dried herbs. Mix well.

Now, grab your frying pan and thickly coat with olive oil (avoid being too heavy-handed!) then turn the temperature to high. Once the oil starts to sizzle a little, turn the temperature down a tad – to around medium/high.

Okey dokey, now fetch a large dessertspoon along with your rather striking, cerise pink batter.

Then drop three or four equal-ish amounts into the hot oil.

When golden brown on the underside, turn over.

Once both sides are perfectly browned, transfer to a plate covered in paper towel to soak up any excess oil. Then repeat the cooking process until you’ve used up the batter.

I say, now it’s time to serve your fabulous fritters to your delightful guests. Please do so with sliced beetroot, and any salad of your choice – voila!